Hope?

I woke up the other morning way passed the rising of the sun and directly called my husband. His day was almost half over and mine was just beginning, not that I had intended it that way, but for some reason my body requires more sleep than the average person. I genuinely wanted to know how his day was going, I hoped that it was a good day, and perhaps it was until he received my phone call.

You see not only had I just woken up, but according to him, I sounded like death warmed over. And again, according to him I typically sound like death warmed over. This conversation came on the heels of another disturbing conversation only nights before. I can't quite recall the ailment, but I believe my stomach was once again bothering me. And when I say bothering me, I mean constant trips running to the restroom knocking everyone and anyone out of the way with sweat pouring from my brow due to the extreme pain. Anyway, I was holding on to my stomach as it was beginning to flare and Mr. Scott looks at me and says, "Can't you ever be ok?"

I just looked at him dumbfounded. I wanted to cry. I mean here I am in excruciating pain and all he can do is criticize. He hasn't had to live with it, in fact the only pains he's ever experienced have been a bad tooth, which had to have a root canal and then dry socket followed, a bruised rib, and shingles. Now, although I've never experienced those types of pains, I due know intense pain. I've known pain for a good part of my adult life. I often wonder why I never experienced it as a child, but now thinking back, I'm beginning to wonder if I hadn't.

Now I don't want you all looking to hang Mr. Scott from the nearest tree. He has a good defense. I can recall being sick on form or another for quite some time now.

1990-Possible hypoglycemia-the doctors wanted to wait and see.
1993-Yep, hypoglycemia
1994-Intensely ill, I had every test imaginable. Nothing. Nadda. It's in your head.
1995-4 dozen gallstones found pregnant so nothing can be done
1996-Gallbladder removed after a severe attack at this time it is also discovered I have extremely high triglycerides and my heart is a ticking time bomb. Enter weekly blood tests. Fun!
1997-April 1st to be exact-ER visit, kidney is very enlarged. No stones present, discover I am once again pregnant, by the way 4th child. Surgery is required, the first of many, I'm diagnosed with congenital kidney disease.
1997-Diagnosed with a 'slight' case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome aka IBS. Let me tell you I wanted to ring that doctor's PhD neck when he told me that. Not because of the diagnosis, but because of the 'slight'. He wasn't the one whose life revolved around food and the bathroom.

After this things kind of get fuzzy-it could be due to a pain fog or to age or to I just don't give a shit anymore. But since 1997, I've lived with hives, sometimes I've scratched my skin raw, sometimes the itching was so intense it became painful. Since 1997, I've dealt with severe headaches, only in the last few years have I been diagnosed with migraines. Since 1997, I typically only have 4 menstrual cycles a year. I've also suffered from what seemed to be carpal tunnel, and this was before I owned a computer.

I was put on medication for my triglycerides, which in turn, almost killed me, myopathy a serious side effect in which there is damage to muscles it can lead to Rhabdomyolysis which often begins as muscle pain and can progress to loss of muscle cells, kidney failure, and death, and believe me I thought for sure I was dieing. Luckily, once my kidneys began to act up, and I once again ended up in the ER from kidney pain, they removed me from the statin. Now mind you, I thought I had the flu for seven months, it was flu season after all when it all began. Not only did I have the muscle aches and pains but I also had issues with my lungs, my fingers curled during horrible episodes, it hurt to walk, it was horrible. The thing is, you can get to a point in myopathy where there is no reversal, you can also suffer the side affects months even years after being removed from the medication.

Recently, my legs seem to have the restless syndrome. There is some numbing and tingling in my back, arms, and chest. I tend to lose balance easily. If I close my eyes and try and stand still, you know like washing your hair in the shower, I tend to fall over.

I know this is a lot of information, but there is a point. Some of you may recall when I began the Eat Clean diet. Well, some of the recipes were gluten-free if not all of them, I can't remember right now. When my body responded well, and I began to feel better, it was like a whole new take on life, at least for a while. As a family, we kind of dropped off, I mean food has gotten expensive, and the healthier the more expensive, right?

Well I've been battling 'stuff' again-when I wake up, I hurt. I need close to 12 hours of sleep when I can actually sleep, 15 is better. My knees hurt, my heels feel like I'm walking on pins and needles, my back hurts.

This is not a gripe session, this is an awareness session. I don't tend to trust doctors because of all my diagnosis' or lack there of.

I'm a half way intelligent adult. I know that hypoglycemia can lead to diabetes, I also know that high triglycerides and diabetes can be related. So when I ask-isn't there one thing that could be causing all these symptoms-I kind of get that blank stare.

Enter celiac disease-I'm not going to completely self diagnose at this time, but I am going to begin a gluten-free diet. God willing this will fix my symptoms, and I will be able to live a normal life, whatever that may be. And, when I go to the doctor, I'm going armed with information.