I don't have time to b*tch, but let me just say...

if he brings home anymore Oreos I'm gonna kick him to the curb!!!!

I woke up the other morning way passed the rising of the sun and directly called my husband. His day was almost half over and mine was just beginning, not that I had intended it that way, but for some reason my body requires more sleep than the average person. I genuinely wanted to know how his day was going, I hoped that it was a good day, and perhaps it was until he received my phone call.

You see not only had I just woken up, but according to him, I sounded like death warmed over. And again, according to him I typically sound like death warmed over. This conversation came on the heels of another disturbing conversation only nights before. I can't quite recall the ailment, but I believe my stomach was once again bothering me. And when I say bothering me, I mean constant trips running to the restroom knocking everyone and anyone out of the way with sweat pouring from my brow due to the extreme pain. Anyway, I was holding on to my stomach as it was beginning to flare and Mr. Scott looks at me and says, "Can't you ever be ok?"

I just looked at him dumbfounded. I wanted to cry. I mean here I am in excruciating pain and all he can do is criticize. He hasn't had to live with it, in fact the only pains he's ever experienced have been a bad tooth, which had to have a root canal and then dry socket followed, a bruised rib, and shingles. Now, although I've never experienced those types of pains, I due know intense pain. I've known pain for a good part of my adult life. I often wonder why I never experienced it as a child, but now thinking back, I'm beginning to wonder if I hadn't.

Now I don't want you all looking to hang Mr. Scott from the nearest tree. He has a good defense. I can recall being sick on form or another for quite some time now.

1990-Possible hypoglycemia-the doctors wanted to wait and see.
1993-Yep, hypoglycemia
1994-Intensely ill, I had every test imaginable. Nothing. Nadda. It's in your head.
1995-4 dozen gallstones found pregnant so nothing can be done
1996-Gallbladder removed after a severe attack at this time it is also discovered I have extremely high triglycerides and my heart is a ticking time bomb. Enter weekly blood tests. Fun!
1997-April 1st to be exact-ER visit, kidney is very enlarged. No stones present, discover I am once again pregnant, by the way 4th child. Surgery is required, the first of many, I'm diagnosed with congenital kidney disease.
1997-Diagnosed with a 'slight' case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome aka IBS. Let me tell you I wanted to ring that doctor's PhD neck when he told me that. Not because of the diagnosis, but because of the 'slight'. He wasn't the one whose life revolved around food and the bathroom.

After this things kind of get fuzzy-it could be due to a pain fog or to age or to I just don't give a shit anymore. But since 1997, I've lived with hives, sometimes I've scratched my skin raw, sometimes the itching was so intense it became painful. Since 1997, I've dealt with severe headaches, only in the last few years have I been diagnosed with migraines. Since 1997, I typically only have 4 menstrual cycles a year. I've also suffered from what seemed to be carpal tunnel, and this was before I owned a computer.

I was put on medication for my triglycerides, which in turn, almost killed me, myopathy a serious side effect in which there is damage to muscles it can lead to Rhabdomyolysis which often begins as muscle pain and can progress to loss of muscle cells, kidney failure, and death, and believe me I thought for sure I was dieing. Luckily, once my kidneys began to act up, and I once again ended up in the ER from kidney pain, they removed me from the statin. Now mind you, I thought I had the flu for seven months, it was flu season after all when it all began. Not only did I have the muscle aches and pains but I also had issues with my lungs, my fingers curled during horrible episodes, it hurt to walk, it was horrible. The thing is, you can get to a point in myopathy where there is no reversal, you can also suffer the side affects months even years after being removed from the medication.

Recently, my legs seem to have the restless syndrome. There is some numbing and tingling in my back, arms, and chest. I tend to lose balance easily. If I close my eyes and try and stand still, you know like washing your hair in the shower, I tend to fall over.

I know this is a lot of information, but there is a point. Some of you may recall when I began the Eat Clean diet. Well, some of the recipes were gluten-free if not all of them, I can't remember right now. When my body responded well, and I began to feel better, it was like a whole new take on life, at least for a while. As a family, we kind of dropped off, I mean food has gotten expensive, and the healthier the more expensive, right?

Well I've been battling 'stuff' again-when I wake up, I hurt. I need close to 12 hours of sleep when I can actually sleep, 15 is better. My knees hurt, my heels feel like I'm walking on pins and needles, my back hurts.

This is not a gripe session, this is an awareness session. I don't tend to trust doctors because of all my diagnosis' or lack there of.

I'm a half way intelligent adult. I know that hypoglycemia can lead to diabetes, I also know that high triglycerides and diabetes can be related. So when I ask-isn't there one thing that could be causing all these symptoms-I kind of get that blank stare.

Enter celiac disease-I'm not going to completely self diagnose at this time, but I am going to begin a gluten-free diet. God willing this will fix my symptoms, and I will be able to live a normal life, whatever that may be. And, when I go to the doctor, I'm going armed with information.

No pictures today. Not because I've gained weight or anything. But my oldest decided she needed her camera back. You know it's funny, her camera hasn't been kept up in the best possible way. Mine-was always in it's case unless in use. When it broke it looked brand new. Oh well.

On to my weekly weigh-in....188lbs. Whew! I was a bit worried. With all the stress we've been under, I went on an eating frenzy Monday.

Still no workouts to speak of. I've been to busy for that. I hope to incorporate a little this next week.

Favorite recipe right now...it's cheap, easy to put together, and a cool delight in this summer heat.

Greek Salad

2 Roma tomatoes, cut up
2 cucumbers, peeled, seeded and cut up
1/4 cup purple onion (optional) cut and sliced
1 tsp Oregano
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/4 cup Feta cheese

Toss and enjoy.

It's no secret to my writing pals that I love dance. I love it in all genres. The creative artisticness is amazing. It's passionate, full of emotion, and character. And when it's done correctly, dance tells a story. Like a good story, the choreography can pull you in and keep you entranced, mesmerized until that final move.

Below is a compilation of the JabbaWockeez, America's Best Dance Crew winners from season 1. It's kind of long, but I think they'll amaze you. Each week they were given an assignment and had to choreograph their moves incorporating particular music, props, and sometimes famous dance moves. There were a lot of amazing dance crews, but I have to say, the lines of precision that this crew performed with floored me. I guess that's why they won. With season 2 in full swing I can't help but wonder, will there be a crew just as good if not better than the first season.



I'll save my thoughts on reality tv for a later date.

This is the outside the Elms Hotel in Excelsior Springs, MO. It's a very interesting hotel. I stayed there in March when I attended a local writer's retreat.

I'm thinking I need another retreat. :)

So I think I'll check out this photo scavenger hunt.

Alice Audrey

tnchick.com

I'll see if I can't figure it all out by next week and jump through all the proper hoops.

I never would have imagined being here, where I am now, twenty years ago. Not even five years ago. And a year ago-life was such a roller coaster ride, I never could have imagined life being as good as it has been.

Our family has had their ups and downs, it seems in every realm of our existence, except maybe between our marriage. Our love has been consistent-well I think you know what I mean. Our love isn't conditional, but unconditional.

Let me get back on track here. For a few months now our lives have been chaotic at best. My writing has been put to the side. And in this case it wasn't a bad thing, not really. Mr. Scott needed me for moral support, and, well, I was ready to give it to him as long as it got him out of my house.

That might sound a bit callous but let me explain, for those of you who don't know, Mr. Scott lost his job a while back when the owner decided to up and quit her business leaving all her employees in a bind.

We had a Mt. Everest standing in our way. But God had other plans for us.

Mr. Scott and I had talked about him going out on his own for several months but we didn't have the capital. After the lost job, Mr. Scott had no other choice but to work for himself.






As crazy as it looks, it was all a blessing. The more furniture in our home the more income. At times there was little room to breathe, let alone do much of anything else. The kitchen, living room, and my bedroom had been turned into a workshop.

I tried not to complain too much, I understood. My mother and my friends let me cry on their shoulders though. And they were encouraging, they had taken my hopes and turned them into faith, if you know what I mean. Do you recall the Bible story about the man who was lying on a cot ill? His friends believed in his healing for him, they lowered him down through the roof. My friends prayed and pretzeled for a solution. They stood on their faith when mine was lacking.

Let me give an example of just one friend, Terri called one day and asked, "Have you found a building yet?" I replied, "Nope." She tells me that she's calling on her prayer tree and I smiled. No sooner than I got off the phone with her, I received another phone call from Mr. Scott, "We have an appointment to look at a building." Less than a week later we signed a lease.

It's as scary as I'll get out. Utilities are on, some we are locked in for a year. Here we are with no capital, little to no savings, we are trying to build this thing without debt. So far so good.

So do you want to see? It's small but I'm not going to complain. It's what we can afford for right now.



I wanted to wait until the signs were up, but I was too anxious, I wanted to share it with you all.


Not much in there yet, at least not what you can see, and considering we've been in it less than a week...not bad. Mr. Scott, hasn't been able to be there much since he's been booked solid installing window treatments. :)


This is part of the office area. There is a desk, etc. but the picture was too blurry.

A while back, when I told you all that I was working on an inspirational book for Love Inspired Historical, I had a scripture in mind. Through all of this, through the last twenty years and for the next, even in times of doubt, this scripture has rung true.

The downside of all this, which is kind of funny, the sewing machine had been doubling as my desk space since last October, now that it's gone I have no desk. But at least now I have a nice space to put one and a bookshelf for my reference books.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And as I write these words, I pray to God he doesn't test us further, at least for a while. Like I said, we've had our fair share of trials in the last few years and with teenagers I'm sure there are more to come.

Thank you to all who have sent your prayers and thoughts. I pray that the blessings are returned to you sevenfold.


Renee

Once again, on Saturday, which to me is mid-week I weighed less than I did today. I think I'll start taking pictures of my Saturday weigh-ins too. On Saturday I checked in at 187.5. Boy, would I love to see that again real soon. There seems to be a big difference between 7.5 pounds and 9.5 pounds in reaching my goal July 7th goal.

Here it is



At least I didn't fall back any and I didn't stay the same. Shoot, I'll take that .5 pounds.

Again excuse the blurriness for some reason I can't get clear pictures while I'm perched on a scale. Looks like it's time for new toe polish.

The week hasn't been easy for me. At the beginning it was not too bad. I even weighed in at 189.5 on Saturday, which in my mind doesn't count since I'm only supposed to be weighing once a week.

On Saturday, we went skating. I lasted for about an hour, maybe a bit more. Since my fall, my leg still bothers me. When I sat out to watch the kids and Mr. Scott, I had a large pretzel and cheese, one of my biggest downfalls. The good news is the boy helped me eat half of it.

Yesterday we celebrated Scott #2's 15th birthday. We haven't had cake yet, but I did take her out to lunch. Yeah, I could have had a soup and salad, but the 'heart attack walking' aka Monte Cristo, looked really good. Again, I was only able to eat half, I took the rest home to Mr. Scott and Scott #4.

I went grocery shopping yesterday. For those of you who know me, I'd rather give birth than do the grocery thing. Mr. Scott requested Pringles to go with what seems like our nightly grilling. Did you know, where Pringles are concerned, I definitely can't eat one. Shoot, I have a hard time not eating the whole can.

On the soda front, well let's just say one thing at a time. I just have to decide if that one thing will be pretzels, Pringles, or soda. Oh, and today I need to make a cake, I slacked and didn't do it yesterday, so I'll have my one obligatory piece. The sad thing is Scott #1 will be 18 next week, so more cake. Guess I better find something to work those calories off.

Weigh-in


*Sorry the picture is a bit blurry, but hey, you can see the numbers.

Patience- the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.


Hmmm...I'm thinking my patience has been tested beyond my limits, and not in just one area of my life. I'm on edge, irritable, a royal pain in the butt. The kids think I've snapped. Mr. Scott believes the only sound to come from me is grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and in case you're wondering they're right.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Yeah I suffer big time, at this point in time I wish I suffered from Tourette's Syndrome too, then maybe I would have an excuse for behaving the way I do at certain times. The more and more I survive through these little episodes of lilapsophobia the more I become aware of my split personality.



If you've ever had the chance to see one of these from a distance you know how mesmerizing they are. They are a stunning phenomenon. Their raw exuberance pulls you in, hypnotizing you, some times until it is too late. In 1982, when warnings weren't so advance, my parents threw us kids into the station wagon at the sound of the tornado sirens and drove two miles to our shelter. They quickly ushered us into the basement of our church and hid us beneath the stairwell.

At some point my mother left to check on something and I, curious as I was ran up the stairs and outside to see what my dad was up to. He was a trained weather spotter, a Kansas Highway Patrolmen, I was eleven. We were all so taken with the tornadoes and their destructive paths that nobody realized I was outside too until my mother discovered me missing. I'll never forget them coming from the sky and dancing about tearing up everything in their paths. Oh, there were two of them and two people died that day. One of the victims was found by our then pastor during the search and recovery.

On June 8, 1974 a tornado ripped through parts of Kansas.

I was too young to remember the details at the time, but since yesterday's outbreak was compared to that very date, my mother decided to inform me of how she shoved me and herself under a sturdy table. When the all clear sounded she discovered a metal pole had been blown beneath her car and lifted upwards on either side without scratching the paint. She did say however that the rear view mirror had been ripped off and never found.



Click on the picture for a link to the details.

They say some people can go their entire lives without seeing one of these monsters of nature. I've seen a few, ran from a few, and hid from a few.

Not one person can grow up in Topeka, Kansas without the vivid image of June 8, 1966 imprinted on their brains, even if they weren't born yet.



And not many in this part of the country will forget May 4, 2007.



Picture taken by Jaime Oppenheimer/The Wichita Eagle. Click on the above picture for more devastating photos.

Greensburg has had more than their fair share of tornado warnings this year. And I'm sure every time those sirens go off an unimaginable fear strikes many hearts.

And check out these videos from Parkersburg, IA





And as crazy as this next video seems, these dedicated adrenalin junkies help save lives. May 24, 2008 Quinter, Kansas



I love the science of severe storms, and living in Kansas you can't help but experience them. I'm a bit obsessive at watching weather patterns even if they aren't over my head, but I absolutely hate the devastation. On one hand I'm scared to death of them, so much so that it makes me overly cautious and at times nauseous. On the other hand, I'm just as much an adrenalin junkie as some of the storm chasers, although I don't think you'll ever find me out on the field. I'd rather watch radar from the safety of a storm shelter.

I seem to always be contemplating my life. Maybe because I haven't fulfilled the bulk of my dreams. Or maybe it's because I'm searching for that one great truth. Now don't go get all religious on me. I've been down that road - and believe me when I tell you I know more than most when it comes to legalistic religion. I also know what it means to have a relationship with big brother J.C. as well as Father God.

I tend to think more along the lines that my life has got to be more than what I'm currently making of it, even though motherhood and wifehood have got to be the most fulfilling things I could ever experience. I'm truly blessed in that area of my life.

But I can't help but wonder....Am I fulfilling all that God intended me to be? Am I following His path and His direction He set specifically for me or am I wondering around the desert without a compass?

I may never figure that out. What I do know is no matter what, He is watching over me, even if I'm not exactly walking the so-called straight and narrow. If I knew where I was going with my life I'd never need Him. Or anyone for that matter. God reminds me with the little things in life that He is who He is and I am who I am. He continually takes care of us in ways that are unimaginable.

Ah, I guess I got all religious on you. I didn't mean to, it just kind of happened and I'm sure there is a point somewhere among my rambling.

I know I've stated before, that I'm working on a story that I'll target toward Love Inspired Historical. I'm really kind of excited about it, yet at the same time nervous. You see, I believe there is a fine line between sharing a message and making it real. For this first manuscript geared toward the inspirational line, I know without a doubt the scripture behind message. I guess I'm wondering if I can pull it off. You know writing that story that will touch hearts a plenty. One that speaks the truth in more ways than one.

I guess I need to just step out in faith and delve further into the story.

By the way, that arrow was pointing WNW, what ever that may indicate.
And, yes, I know I probably didn't make one bit of sense, but I feel a whole lot better. ;)

Kelly decided she wanted to lose weight and that she was actually going to do something about it.

We all have our reasons why we want to shed those pounds. I try to tell myself it's all about health, which in all actuality should be the case in my situation, but in truth I think it's more about vanity.

I don't necessarily want that bean pole skinny model like body, which to be honest that is totally impossible unless I had a severe breast reduction and maybe 3-5 inches added to my height. I'm perfectly fine with being 'short' although in my opinion I'm average in height. What I'm not ok with is being a good 50+ pounds overweight.


So here it is

My BMI=32.2, that's 7.3-13.7 over the healthy limit for me.

My scale currently reads...














which is 2.5 pounds more than I weighed on Monday.

So I need your help in keeping me accountable. Wednesday will be Wednesday Weigh-in. I'll list my current weight as well as try and give you a log of the activity for the previous week and maybe share a recipe or two along the way.

Thanks Kelly, for the first time I feel optimistic.

As for what my incentives are, I don't spend a lot on myself, although I have been wanting to buy some cute summer shorts. So I figure with every ten pounds I lose I can go buy one pair. For every pound I gain, I'll donate 10.00 to the Wolong Panda Center. Either way it's a win-win.


*If you would like more information about these pandas and the center's efforts click on the link below.









Oh, I totally forgot to post my goal weight- my first goal is to be at 178 buy July 7th. Don't mumble at me, with hard work it can be done and in a healthy way. My ultimate goal is 145 by Thanksgiving.

For an interesting look at how scales are made check out How Stuff Works.